Outing Myself & Showing My True Colors

Have you ever had to “out” yourself?

Not so much admitting that you actually like vegetables or that elevator music gets your toes tapping but a real deal outing of  yourself?


Well it’s my turn today.

I’m showing you all my true colors no matter how hard it has been for me to write this post.

You see in my first career, I work in a gym.  I’m a personal trainer, I teach fitness classes like power sculpt, spinning and pilates.  I can find my way around any gym, any time, anywhere.  I can get people to train like they didn’t think they were capable of, exercise without pain and- get this- qualify for the Boston marathon! I know fitness.  I’m a good trainer- at least I’d like to believe so!

And I actually enjoy it!  Score!

I  know, I know, you’re thinking, yeah we KNOW this.  What’s the big deal?  What kind of deep dark secret are you hiding?

I’ll just come out with it.

I’ve spent the better part of a year feeling like an absolute & total fitness fraud.

YIKES!  I said it out loud!

With everything that I know & how much time I spend in a gym on a weekly basis, I forgot the basic principle of being healthy- taking care of yourself!

I didn’t sleep enough.  I didn’t train enough.  I didn’t eat right.  I did everything wrong getting ready for the NYC Marathon last November and I paid dearly for it.

Can you say Achilles Tendonitis?  On both sides?

Oh yeah, when I do things, I do them full out.  It wasn’t enough to just injure myself on one side of my body BUT on both.

This may seem like no biggie to you but for someone who makes their living teaching other people how to be healthy and avoid injury, this was the biggest blow to my ego there possibly could be.

So what did I do?

Well first I ignored it for about 3 months.  When I couldn’t ignore it, I iced and elevated my legs.  Then I taped myself up & ran 26.2 miles through it.  Okay, let me be really honest- ran is a bit of a stretch, I more like hobbled my way through it.

Once that race was through, I stopped.  Cried a whole bunch.  And didn’t run until April of this year.

Then I ate.  And ate.  And ate.

Then I sat on the couch.

I stopped coaching private nutrition clients & my personal training clientele went through a little bit of a downward spiral.

I threw myself the biggest, baddest pity party out there and ignored all the things that I loved so much.

And all the weight that I lost through healthy living came right back on.

Oh yes, totally craptacular.

Then it hit me.  I’m a fitness fraud.  Who am I to be giving other people advice and workouts to get themselves healthier?  Who am I to help anybody when I can’t help myself?

Well this is really no way for a fitness professional & health coach to be talking to herself?

But I couldn’t get out of this mindset.

Why am I telling you all of this?

I’ve made a new commitment to showing my true colors, my true self, my vulnerability.  It’s through these that I have the most to give to each of you.

My business mentors have a wonderful saying.  “Your challenges are your greatest gifts.”

My challenge around being healthy and breaking *bad* habits are exactly what I need to be sharing.

So here I am.

All healed up, running again.  I’m eating healthy & feeling stronger than I have in a year.  I have mentors who are guiding me down a path that I actually want to be going.  I am finding my strength in being vulnerable and sharing this story with you.

It may have taken me a whole lot of time, but I’m back.

I’m holding a space for you if you’re seeing that it’s time to out yourself & show off who you really are.

What are you challenges?  What can you learn about my vulnerability?

Are you ready to show yours?  If you’re brave enough, write something in the comments below.  

It’s through our challenges that we become more of who we’re meant to be.  If you’re meant to be someone more in love with your life & with your body, then you’re most definitely in the right place!  :  )

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